Well it's another day. I'm just hanging out doing my thing and dreadfully counting down the minutes until I trudge off to work. I struggle with the way I feel about my job. I should be thankful I have employment. There are MANY people who don't have jobs, and yet like a 40 year desert wandering crowd I find myself emulating their countenance, not happy for manna and another day's provision... such as it is.
It's not easy being grateful for something you loathe, and certainly gratitude does not have to equal a spot-squatting contentment that destines one to the same abysmal day in-and-out drudgery of horrified monotony. I think maybe that's one of the reasons the discontentment is so glaring, because as of now, there is no direct path, no specific light at the end of the tunnel. Sure there's things I'm working toward, and hoping for, but in all, nothing with a face that I'm able to lay claim to. So in effect the hole I'm buried in, does, for the time, at least feel as though that's all she wrote, even if it is far from reality.
I can't make any claims of great change. Between you and me I'd rather hit someone in the face then say thank-you for this existence, but I can't seem to muster anything more than a lip service that may sound good, but would not adequately describe the rage I feel about being stuck where I am.
Guess I'll have to work on that.
Here He Walks
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2 comments:
I gotta say...I felt the same way about my job for over a year, and then God dropped the whole MC director thing in my lap, and it was amazing...don't know if that encourages you at ALL, but just keep at it. I love you!
You & Marc should chat...oh, and welcome to blogspot. My new favorite. He did join facebook, by the way!
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